I'm A Super.com

One thing’s for sure. When you’re on the Bachelor, you may not catch the man of your dreams, but chances are you’ll catch something!

I know I’m not the only one that’s thought it, but someone has to say it.

The Bachelor is a ‘dating game’ in which 1 man ‘dates’ as many 25 woman in an elimination-style reality TV show. Each woman, carefully screened to be a ‘perfect match’ for the Bachelor, competes with the other women in a combination of group and single dates in a ‘winner takes all’ battle for the man of their dreams. At the end of each season, the Bachelor asks one lady for their hand in marriage… most of the time.

The title of this post makes the claim that The Bachelor is destroying humanity, but I stand by my assertion. Let’s start with the basics.

There isn’t enough time

I’m probably going to keep coming back to this, but come on’. This man moves from one woman to another in a series of one on one dates and exploratory relationship that are laughable in terms of time. There’s a whopping 8 episodes, 3 one on one dates and countless group dates in which the Bachelor spends a max of a couple of hours with each woman.

 

He doesn’t actually ‘plan’ this crap

Every episode, the Bachelor talks about these elaborate and mind-blowing dates that he’s planned for the women. Helicopter rides, cliff diving, romantic private island get-aways, yachts, sunsets, you name it. And often times these women will pine for the Bachelor. “I can’t believe he planned all of this”. Or even better, “This is my idea of the perfect date! But how did Brad know?”. Seriously lady? How did he know? You don’t actually think he planned all of these dates do you? Don’t you remember, in the 5 Applications and 3 demo videos you sent in to ABC, what you filled out on the Application?

Do you really not remember applying for the Passport and requesting travel in another country? I don’t want to shock you here, but he had nothing to do with this. He didn’t pay for it, he didn’t plan it, and he wasn’t told about it until the day before you two went. He’s not bringing you the magic, the Network is.

It’s not personal

Camera’s, lights, sound, producers, electricians… immense man power required for each and every scene. And they’re there, all the time. Those nice quiet scenes in which they make intimate remarks and reveal their deepest darkest fears and secrets? Camera guy. Sound guy. Producer. Electrician far off in the back ground. There’s no actual privacy, or intimacy. And now is a good time to remind you: It’s a television show. Re-takes, cuts, do-overs, scene deletions. It all happens. Don’t think that it doesn’t.

 

He’s very physical with you… oh, and those 8 other women
This actually bothers me quite a bit. I love these women who say “The kiss was incredible; I think I’m falling in love”. Lady, he just made out with 4 other women this episode… and they’re your room mates! This guy can get some action from 4 different ladies in a single 36 hour period, and none of them are genuinely upset about it. It’s all part of the ‘game’. And it’s all magical. And mystical. One thing’s for sure. When you’re on the Bachelor, you may not catch the man of your dreams, but chances are you’ll catch something!

It’s not real dating

You can’t form a strong, serious (marriage worthy no less!) relationship with someone under the circumstances above when he’s having the same interactions, both physical and emotional, with that many other women.

In addition to that, the experiences that you’re having are not typical of the kind of relationship or life you would have together. While trips to tropical island paradises are wonderful, they’re not every day life. You don’t form the basis for a healthy, life-long relationship by starting with a honeymoon.

Real life does not consist of helicopter dives and cocktail parties. It’s filled with ups and downs. Jobs, bills, lack of time and conflicting schedules. A relationship built on fantasy would never, ever survive in the real world. Which brings me to my next point:

 

In 14 seasons and 90 episodes, no Bachelor couple has ever stayed together

The reality of the Bachelor can be found not in it’s plethora of episodes, but in the fruits of the show. In 90 episodes, no couple has ever successfully remained a couple. That means that this show has never produced a single good thing for humanity. It’s contributed to heart break, divorce, and statistics that show our nation is in a continual decline.

You’re worth more than this game show

What level of self-esteem must a woman have to participate in this show? I shouldn’t have to be the one to tell you this but you’re worth more than this show. You deserve a man’s full attention. You don’t need to compete for his attention and affection like some kind of wild animal. You need to take the Disney approach and be like Jasmine: You are not a prize to be won!

 

He’s not a real man

What kind of a real man would make out with, and lead on, 8 different women at the exact same time? 4 women? 2 women? In the real world, a man who was having an intimate relationship with more than one woman would be branded a dirt bag of the worst kind. But on ABC, he’s the man of every woman’s dreams! A real catch!

A real man has self respect, and respect for women. The Bachelor? Not so much.

It turns moms into bad moms

Okay, I guess I don’t have a right to call a woman a ‘bad mom’. That’s really not my place. A lot of people like to throw around the term ‘to each his own’, especially when it’s more convenient to avoid doing the right thing. This last season featured two single women who had small children waiting at home. That’s right, there were two women, including the show favorite (Emily) who have little kids at home wondering where mommy is.

At the end of the day, I don’t know whether these women are good mothers or not. I’m not that judge. That being said, I feel confident in saying that leaving your child for weeks at a time in pursuit of love on a tv game show is not an attribute of a good mother.

In Summary: It sets a standard that cannot be achieved

As our country falls further and further into the pits of self-gratifying entertainment, our moral fibers literally stretched to the limit, and our marriages and relationships portrayed as nothing but one night stands and ‘starter marriages’, the last thing we need is a television show like The Bachelor. The show is degrading to women, to marriage, to parenthood, and the strength and unity of a genuine family unit.

The Bachelor strives to convince us that intimate, life-long relationships can be formed in a series of 3-hour group dates, surrounded by cameras and lights. Real life just isn’t that way, and as our society pushes marriage and family further and further from it’s heart and mind, The Bachelor will continue to play it’s part in the degradation of our society.

And that just sucks.

I could easily go into a classic rant about Alan Grayon’s latest political advertisement, targeting his Republican adversary. But instead, I’ll let him do the talking. Check out both the videos and decided for yourself:

Congressman Alan Grayson:

Grayson’s Republican opponent, Daniel Webster:

I don’t endorse either candidate. Why would I? They’re not in my State and I’m not expertly familiar with either of their campaigns… but I’m pretty sure if I lived in his State, Congressman Alan Grayson would not be getting my vote.

This just in: House bill 1337 requires all U.S. Citizens to purchase tooth brushes or receive a 250$ fine, 10 days jail time, or both. Subsidies will be provided for low income families who can’t afford tooth brushes.

The narrow 51/49% vote is considered an enormous win for President Barack Obama and the democratic party, who’s approval numbers had been waining in recent months due to unfair criticism by the media and school yard bullying by the republican party.

“Now even less fortunate people with bad teeth will be able to focus more on their ‘arts and crafts’ project time and less on their dental hygiene.” – Nancy Pelosi

The Congressional Budget Office published estimates for the Bills fiscal impact, based on an implementation date of 2014. the CBO estimates that by 2017, 297 million Americans will have tooth brushes, and 220 million americans will be brushing semi-regularly. They also estimate a 250 million dollar revenue for fines and penalties imposed on brushless naysayers.

the remaining 15 million unbrushed americans are either denture wearers or newborn babies.

Update 3/22/2010 1:07 PM – Amending bill passed:

Now, all US citizens are required to brush at least 3 times a week unless they’re disabled, or on medicare in which case, tooth brushes aren’t covered. Also, members of congress aren’t required to have tooth brushes, although they’ll be provided free of charge for the duration of their term.

Update 3/22/2010 2:10 PM – Executive Order Issued:

An executive order by President Barack Obama modifies the existing legislation so that pregnant woman are encouraged to brush regularly, but won’t pay a fine if they choose not to brush.

Note: This is satire. However, it being as believable as it is should be a statement in and of its self.

The United States Department of Education is seeking bids from Vendors to purchase 27 (count)  12 gauge Remington Model 870 Police 14″  shotguns, according to the Federal Business Opportunities Website, FBO.gov.

FBO.gov is a Federal Website that allows federal agencies to list “business opportunities” and contract fulfillment opportunities to businesses throughout the United States, presumably in an effort to make the Federal bidding and fulfillment process more accessible and fair.

To see the bid solicitation, click here. Or, if you’re having trouble, you can always click the image above.

According to the Department of Education, the Remington  Model 870 Police Shotgun is:

designated as the only shotguns authorized for ED based on compatibility with ED existing shotgun inventory, certified armor and combat training and protocol, maintenance, and parts.

I’m curious. Can someone on the internetz help me understand the following:

• Why does the US Department of Education have an existing shotgun inventory?
• Why does the US Department of Education have certified armor and combat training?
• Why does the US Department of Education need 27 more 12 gauage Shotguns?

Is this part of the No Child Left Behind act? Given the opportunity to theorize on my own, I guess there is a possibility these 27 shotguns are for Federally funded gun safety courses? You know, giving high schoolers the opportunity to learn how to use and an operate a shotgun safely?

Of course, that’s only one possibility. Can anyone shed some light on this topic?

The state Assembly is scheduled to vote on a resolution Thursday calling for a statewide “Cuss Free Week,” to occur annually during the first week of March. If approved, it would go to the state Senate for a final vote on Monday.

via Plainview Daily Herald > AP Headlines.

You would think that with California’s economy being almost completely bankrupt, there would be more pressing issues to work on.